elevator girl

Why don’t Japanese look me in the eyes?

In Japanese society, looking at someone directly is sometimes considered as showing strong hostility, especially towards to your seniors (However, it matters what you want to communicate e.g. a questioning look, a puzzled look, a disagreeing look. Sometimes we need to look directly at somebody to convey these). This can be traced back to the strict class system during Edo period (1600-1867)

For a job interview, we are advised to look around the tie area of the interviewer. Of course, we should look at the interviewer’s eyes sometimes, but not for too long.

Have you noticed that elevator girl?  (a girl who presses the floor buttons for you at high-class department stores, such as Mitsukoshi) They normally wear a wide-brimmed hat so that they can avoid direct eye contact with customers.

Anyhow Japanese are generally shy and not used to looking at the opponents’ eyes directly for long time. So please don’t worry even if they seem not to be looking at you. They are still listening to you!